Mojave in my Heart

From a not-so childlike beginning in New York City to my child inspired world here and now


1 Comment

Twelve Days of Christmas

Oh here comes SantaThe weeks leading up to Christmas revolved around preparing our home for the season and crafting for others, as well as ourselves.  I enjoyed working with themes for each week of Advent and look forward to building on them in the years ahead. The girls continue to talk about our week of animals– making treats for our animal friends and spending time at the animal shelter. The UPS guy especially liked hearing the package I was sending to Red and Tweedy was off to two hens in North Carolina, saying: “that’s a first” with a smile. In the years ahead, I hope to expand our giving with each week of Advent. One can’t say to a child, let’s give more than receive, let’s enjoy what we share. We have to model and live it.

Celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas (from Christmas Day to January 5th, the Eve of the Epiphany) was very much a time for us as a family–it organically expanded the weekend tradition of meeting in our bed and spending much of the morning there together. Each day as the girls woke with excitement as to where they would find Santa’s gift, they would inevitably end up in our bed, gift or no gift. Some mornings were hard, having stayed up late and facing wide-eyed young children, but looking at it now I realize what a gift those mornings were for us.

A couple days in, I realized how little the actual gift meant to them. The girls are not very stuff-oriented–unless you’re talking .99 cent nail polish from the Dollar Store because they have a ton of that and are quite proud of it. They didn’t have a wish-list. In fact, had we asked them, they likely would have drawn blanks. The mystery, buildup,  the fact that this time stood apart from other times–that’s what was so joyful. Knit hats were met with as much gratitude as a new game. When the sled Stephen and I wanted to get didn’t materialize and we ended up short a day, we stuffed their stockings with candy canes. One of their most appreciated gifts in the 12 days? The candy canes!

We spent time cooking, baking, doing puzzles, crafting, hiking, dancing and lounging around. We spent a day on errands. I spent time reading and doing yoga.  We went to church and lit candles thinking of my mom– two years ago on the 26th, she passed away. In these last few days, the girls have been taken with making their first snow lady and puppy  with Papa.

Yesterday I started to feel the Sunday blues thinking of Stephen’s return to work , taking down the tree and decorations. I ended up spending time planning, making my calendar for the 3 upcoming months and finding the themes and activities that would define the 2nd half of the winter season. Peace truly returned as I recognized the upcoming celebrations ahead and the natural rhythm that flows from them.

Today is the Epiphany. I’ll tell the story of the three wise men and spend some time looking at a book of stars. In place of our tree we have our nativity set up and I made a little star to hang – a surprise for the girls. Martin Luther King Jr. Day (I touch on the themes of his life in a story I’ll tell about him, emphasizing love and forgiveness) is later this month and I plan on making some felted heart gifts. The girls really enjoyed felting this November–great sudsy, tactile, messy, warm experience. February will start off with a festive start as the days will begin to get longer and we can look forward to spring. At the end of February we will embark on our 2nd annual girls trip. I don’t think there is anyway around this adventure as they have basically demanded a 2nd year of “girls’ trip”. Last year my dad’s passing at the end of February led us to New Jersey for his funeral and a couple days in D.C. on the way home. The time spent in D.C. was quite memorable and eventually got dubbed “girls’ trip.” New Mexico is looking like a likely possibility!

IMG_2774 IMG_2985 IMG_2802 IMG_2787 IMG_2783 IMG_2716IMG_3001 IMG_2928 IMG_2892 IMG_3030 20140105-221213.jpg IMG_3028 20140105-221315.jpg IMG_2742 IMG_2746 IMG_2729 20140105-221249.jpg


20140106-081304.jpg 20140106-081348.jpg


Leave a comment

Dress Rehearsal

Today we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves at the girls’ dance rehearsal. I have to say, their class got an awesome song and dance. It was really funny and it felt like a quintessential parent moment–nervous giggles, palms sweaty– that was us! Would they do OK? Run off stage? Oh no, did they use the bathroom before they went on stage?!

It was great and tomorrow is the BIG day!

Link of their rehearsal is below–enjoy!


Leave a comment

Storytelling

image

Last night I went to a local workshop on storytelling. If you’d ask me a few years ago if I wanted to go to a workshop on storytelling, I’d have looked at you funny.  Yet, last night it felt entirely natural and timely! The girls love storytelling and I like it too except, well, I don’t know how to tell stories! How to really start them, how to make up a middle..uhm, how to end them?  I often find inspiration for stories from the current season or animals. For the first time in the girls’ lives they are living in a winter wonderland! This is their first truly wintry season and it certainly has provided a bit more magic and background to the magical winter season. I’ll also just say here, I’m SO VERY grateful they haven’t freaked out about the cold. Yet. :)

I wanted to learn how to tell funny stories, silly stories, and on the fly stories. I didn’t really know how the workshop would work. How could I “learn” to tell stories in a couple hours? In the end I left with the understanding that if I want to tell stories I need to prepare a little. I should tell stories I like and I perhaps think about why I ‘m compelled to those stories. However, what really brings it all together is to be genuine and invested in your story. Tell it like you mean it and you and your listeners will enjoy it!

The morning was an inspired storytelling time for us all. I retold the story of “Rory the Smallest Reindeer” a tale from Ireland as told to me last night and the girls just loved it. Then their turns. It led to many wonderful variations and some very long stories. Scenes of which are posted below.

It is such a special opportunity to sit with others and share stories. We do it all the time–tell our stories to one another, but here is another angle, storytelling for fun, entertainment, connection and learning. I think storytelling speaks to a deep part of our humanity. I mean how long have we been telling stories to each other? Certainly since we started speaking!

image

image image image image


2 Comments

Making Meaning

Central to nourishing my children’s development, is modeling and sharing meaning in the everyday activities and rhythms as well as the big holiday celebrations. I learned early on to try not to rush the chores, the mundane, the ordinary routines I was so fortunate to experience with my babies, my toddlers, and now my young children. Taking time to get washed up, dressed, eating our meals– not rushing through the many moments we ignore so that we can get to the “real” moment–those are to be savored (too). An early, light-hearted eureka moment occurred when the girls were about 9 months old and I was trying to give them a “quick” birdbath after eating. The whole task was thrown off and set straight when I realized the goal of efficiency, control and as little water as possible were actually working against me/us! Instead I set them both on the bathroom floor with large basins of sudsy water and wash clothes. It took over an hour, the floor was soaking wet, they lead the way and we all enjoyed washing up.

Following a general rhythm to our week,  thinking of other people on baking day, experiencing value in taking care of our home, providing model-worthy activities for the girls–those are the some of the day to day ways we’ve tried to instill meaning in our lives. On the level of holidays, I’ve also tried to find ways to infuse more spirit and heart by finding our own way with the celebration, stringing it out a little more through preparations and celebrations. This is an area where Waldorf education really helps to inspire me.

Key to Waldorf education is celebrating life through holidays and festivals. I’m thrilled to say that celebrations and festivals increased in our home these years! Starting with seasonal shifts we celebrated the change through our nature table scenes, foods, songs, activities and stories. For the fall and spring we culminated the seasonal shift with a festival meal. Last fall our friendly neighborhood squirrels left a basket of apples and an apple corer to help with the apple pies and applesauce making! That same spring one of the bunny families of Durham (yup) left the girls carrots and summer nightgowns! The anticipation, the excitement and  joy that came from these festivals were encouraging, to say the least.

The memory, meaning and excitement we as adults can so easily conjure up about our childhood celebrations–whether birthdays or Christmas’ is proof of the value of celebrations.  They speak to our spiritual needs –making meaning out of life. If we can increase the joy and depth in our lives through celebrations–whether simple pauses to notice the changes of the seasons, a party to mark our lives a year older, candles lit to reflect on the memory of those passed on, and religious holidays, then why not devote more attention to recognizing them and making them our own–especially with children?

Celebrating life is really about being grateful for life and that is something I want to share with my girls more than anything.

Here are some photos of our celebrations since arriving out west: St. Michael’s, birthdays! St. Martin’s, All Soul’s Day, Advent, and recently St. Lucia’s…

~our week~
IMG_0618

~st. michael’s: dragon bread and stories ~IMG_0792 IMG_0808 IMG_0384 IMG_0809

~all soul’s day: photos of those passed on, food and music they enjoyed as well as many great stories ~

IMG_1227

~st. martin’s: stories, songs, baking and lantern bags to light us on our walk~IMG_1414 IMG_1416 IMG_1421 IMG_1423 IMG_1442 IMG_1459IMG_0362 IMG_1346 IMG_1334

~birthdays! birthday stories, partied, baked, played, and much needed birthday naps after early breakfast outing~IMG_1494 IMG_1488 IMG_1673 IMG_0816 IMG_0821 IMG_1563

~advent: homemade from cut greens in our neighborhood for our table wreath~image image image

~st. lucia: lots of stories, songs, crafts and baking this week! ada especially enjoyed the baking this week!~image image image image

image image image image

We continue this week with St. Lucia. Her name shares the root “luc” from the Latin to mean light. In addition to making up children’s stories about her life (which there are many to derive mine from), I’ve tried to emphasize the nature of hope and light in her life.

We also celebrated Saint Nicholas Day this year which has added some playfulness into the gift giving tradition. The girls left some nice treats for St. Nick and his donkey and he in turn left some sweets for them! I told stories about St. Nicholas’ life and suggested we do a “St. Nick deed.” We sent out some baked goodies as well as anonymously left a a flower arrangement for one of our new neighbors.

Hope to link some audio clips here soon. Hearing the girls sing these new songs is really special. Children just have the best voices!


1 Comment

Arriving Here in Colorado

IMG_0110IMG_5680 IMG_5042IMG_5036 IMG_4562IMG_5062 IMG_0120 IMG_0122IMG_0123IMG_4614IMG_4438IMG_5815IMG_5848 IMG_5880

2 cars, 2 children, 1 aging dog, all the “stuff” we couldn’t fit in the pods, 1700 miles, a few days, speeding ticket, a hundred year storm (during which we lost our temporary tag), an unexpected stay in Colby, Kansas (loved the old downtown), a flood, missing pods… OH, we’re here!

With the recent move I’ve had thoughts of reviving my writing and posting here more. This part of our “journey” that  began years ago with dreamy talks of moving “west”, took root late July. Returning from our beautiful trip to Texas, we were inspired– the world IS still our oyster! While home felt as wonderful as ever, we were confused and challenged with immediate decisions which even a nice vacation could not make go away. The decisions were beginning to overwhelm us. I felt trapped and increasingly depressed about the situation. I tempered those feelings of despair with the reality that our life was extremely fortunate– we had a wonderful life! We were healthy, we had a wonderful home, a job, supportive family and friends. Maybe we just couldn’t have it all! Yet, it certainly was an inner conflict on a level rarely experienced.  I had a resolute position on what I believed I should be doing with my life…I should be with the girls right now.  Not pursuing that option would stand in contrast to one of my firmest beliefs.  Well doubt comes dancing about and settles in– second-guessing follows.  I was in a constant loop of indecision. Was I going to return to teaching in the fall? Would the girls go to preschool? Increasingly I felt as if I were having to make decisions that I really didn’t want to make, but had to make…

381913_304921539531589_571002298_n

313397_563479383675802_2088678255_n

When doors really began to close, freedom descended! Initially of course I felt sick when those doors closed, no exaggeration. However, I also felt liberated–like well, now WE HAVE to come up with other plans! The future started to take shape even before we had firm plans. We talked all into the night every night, about so many things. We let the dust settle and many of our priorities remained crystal clear. We wanted to explore the homeschooling option more thoroughly and make our decision for the right reasons. We wanted to improve the job situation, the educational climate we lived in, we wanted to remain strong role models for the girls– to continue to live our dreams, to immerse ourselves in a place with more outdoor opportunities and mountains, maybe? Now we were really dreaming!

IMG_1379

Stephen and I came together only by incredible leaps of faith. We began to see the signs just a step or two ahead of us very clearly and started making the plans and taking the very exciting yet incredibly stressful steps to put it into action. We sold the house, Stephen found a job, we reduced our belongings, found a new home for the feathered girls, said goodbye to family and friends. I do miss Durham in countless ways. I miss my first real “home” and think of it often. I lived there longest of any house! I miss friends and family, but I also feel so right where we are right now.

IMG_5165

One small piece of wisdom that has evolved in these months is that when you take control of your life, you’re far more equipped to handle the obstacles, the disappointments and dramas, because certainly this has not been a bowl of cherries, but I’ve really never been happier.

IMG_0198

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.